I like cheese. Quite a lot, actually. I eat cheese virtually every day. And not just a few common varieties, mind you; over the course of a calendar year, I chow down on the cheeses of many nations. But until Scampydog at AoSHQ sent me to this story, I’d never truly appreciated cheese’s potentials in warfare:

     During one such skirmish between a Brazilian and an Uruguayan ship, the Uruguayan vessel ran out of cannonballs. The Uruguayan ship was just sitting ducks without any ammunition. All they had on board was the ration for the crew and the handguns they possessed.
     Thinking on his feet, Captain Coe, the commander of the ship, ordered the cannon to be loaded with stale Dutch cheese of which they had plenty, more so than ammunition. The captain reasoned, “The cheese was too old and hard to eat anyway”. The crew obeyed the orders and loaded the cannons with blocks of cheese.
     Moments later, the Uruguayan ship opened fire again, throwing hard stale blocks of cheeses at the Brazilian navy. The first few balls went sailing over the intended target ships, but soon enough one crashed into the main mast of a Brazilian ship. Funnily, the big block of cheese caused the mast to shatter into a thousand pieces. The Brazilian admiral was taken aback. Two of his crew members were wounded with cheese shrapnel.
     After taking a few more cheese balls crashing into the ship, the Brazilian admiral ordered his ship to retire from the battle and return to the port. Uruguay made food history that day.

     Don’t mess with the old cheese. It will hurt you!