The Village Hemorrhoid is on the case:
The Olympics have gotten to the point that ANYTHING can be called an Olympic event. I don’t watch all the crap on the Olympics but this year we taped most of the events we like and watched them later. This year was the year I found out that break dancing was an Olympic event … wth. Also the adults on kiddie bikes riding around in the skateboard park and for that matter, skateboarding, these are NOT Olympic events IMO.
If all those worthless things can be Olympic events, then we ought to be able to get something as artistic as pole dancing entered. I’m going to start petitioning the Olympic Committee to put it on the roster for 2028.
This would go over big. However, the Karens and the SJWs would be sure to demand that male burlesque be added as an event as well. I suppose it wouldn’t do any harm… well, not much. Anyway, the more the merrier, right?
However, the female pole dancing events would require some stratifying classes:
- Age classes;
- Hair color classes;
- Makeup / no makeup;
- Slender / zaftig / land whale;
- Heel height: barefoot, 3”, 4”, 5”, and “unlimited.”
There would be arguments, of course. Are fake tits OK? How long since her most recent liposuction must a contestant be? May transwomen enter, and under what conditions? But I suppose we must leave some decisions to IOC.
Give it some thought, International Olympic Committee! I might even tune in, next time around. 😉
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Do not anger the Sports Gods.
The new events being considered for Los Angeles will include:
The Mixed Flash Mob Shoplifting (points for both number of items and speed, with bonus for high-priced supplies)
The Grand Theft Auto Relay
The Drug Paraphernalia Steeplechase/Junkie Hurdles
Traffic Blocking For Causes (bonus points for actually managing to catch another competitor or judge in a traffic snarl)
I have a trans friend who actually is a pole dancer. She originally took it up for fitness purposes, but fell in love with it, and has appeared in pole competitions, as well as becoming a certified instructor.
Is she Olympic-caliber? I don’t know if I’d go that far, and she probably wouldn’t, either. Assuming that we know what “Olympic-caliber” even means in the context of pole.
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That’s a mountain the judges must climb. Imagine what process the IOC will use for selecting them!
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No thanks required, Karl. We’re always looking for talent. Keep writing good stuff.
IF, and it’s a big if, Women’s Pole Dancing makes it through the Olympic event voting committee, my next recommendation will be for Wet T-shirt Trampoline Competition. I could be tempted to tune in for that.